The Millennia-Old Teddy Bear Feud

Today we finally arrived on a planet. It’s really a relief after spending ages cooped up on that ship on the way here, even if it does mean I have to see Alex. That’s the one who’s my annoying sister, not one of the ones who goes to my school. You generally don’t have to get in a spaceship to see people who go to school with you. It sort of sucks that I have to do it to see my own sister.

Okay, so I missed her a little. But mostly it’s because I want to ask for my teddy bear that she totally stole and took with her when she left to go live in another solar system in the first place.

I liked that teddy bear, okay? It was soft. Stop judging me.

And apparently it took us millennia to get here. Not actually, but as Dad explained in excruciating detail while we were still on the ship, the planet Alex is living on now goes around the sun super fast, so if you use that to measure time, it’s been about four thousand years. When Dad was done with his hour-long explanation, he sang me happy four thousandth birthday. Off key. I rolled my eyes. It was a little bit funny, actually, but of course I’m not going to admit that to him.

Then we got off the ship and had to go through freaking interplanetary border control, which might have actually taken four thousand years, and then we finally got to meet up with Alex. We did a lot of catching up, but the important part is that when I asked if she had my teddy bear, Alex said no.

So that night, staying at my sister’s house, I did the only logical thing: I snuck into her kitchen and stole all her Space Scout cookies. If she can have my teddy bear, then I can have her cookies. But I didn’t want my parents to catch me on their way to the bathroom or something, so I went back upstairs to the bedroom I was staying in with the box of cookies tucked under one arm. Then, slowly and quietly as possible, I removed one cookie from the box and took a bite.

It tasted like four thousand years of guilt.

Alex’s guilt, that is.

And it was delicious.



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