Memento Mori

“Maybe you’re allergic to time.”

The doctor says as he fiddles with his clipboard, not looking Chloe in the eye. He has never had to give this diagnosis before. Chloe just stares at him, slack jawed.

“You can’t be serious,” she finally says after a few moments of silence. “I mean, allergic to time? How would that even work? I have a rash and itchy eyes!”

“Well, your symptoms flare up at birthday parties, weddings, and funerals, right?” Doctor Datz asks.

“Um, yea, I thought that might be an allergy to balloons or flowers or something?”

“No. Latex allergy is contact based and flower allergies would present seasonally. Do you get a rash on your wrist when you wear a watch?”

“Um, yeah. Metal allergy?”

“No, you would get a rash or sores whenever metal touched your skin. Do your eyes get itchy when you look at a clock?”

“Uh, yeah, I think so.” Chloe looks at the clock on the wall for a moment then rubs her eyes. “Yeah, my eyes are itchy now.” Doctor Datz nods.

“Your symptoms flaring up at parties and funerals can be explained because those are celebrations or events that focus around the passing of time. You’re allergic to time, Chloe. I can figure out a way to run a test to confirm.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Doctor Datz. I just… it makes sense, but it doesn’t. I mean, allergic to time? Time is not even a physical thing! And I mean, aren’t we all kinda allergic to time? With every second that passes we are a second closer to death, more of our cells wear out and die. Memento mori.” Chloe sighs. “I just don’t understand how I’m getting rashes from time.”

“I wish understood as well.” Doctor Datz runs his hands through his hair. Suddenly, the computer in the corner of the room boots up. The Chrome browser opens to an article by Bellona Flamel titled ‘Mutants: How Humans Have Become More Than Human.’ Doctor Datz slowly walks over to the computer and quickly skims over the article. “This…” he trails off and laughs. “I heard this lady was insane, but this looks like it could be real!”

“What… what is it?” Chloe leans forward.

“Flamel has basically done research that proves the evolution of mutants, humans that are more than just plain homo sapiens. People who can manipulate physics or reality and call it magic. People who can turn themselves invisible. She has even found a few people who can grant wishes. Like… you just did, Chloe. My wish plus your magic or whatever caused the article to appear on the computer. You are one of these more-than humans. That would also explain the time allergy. You are not pure homo sapien. You’re something different.”

“Oh.” And with that, Chloe fainted.


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