I’m A Real Human!

Blagblorg’s head is fuzzy. Blagblorg opens Blagblorg’s eyes. Everything is very bright. Blagblorg hears a strange noise, as if air is being sharply intaken in multiple places. Blagblorg is confused. Blagborg’s planet has noxious air. Air should not be taken in. Blagblorg sits up. Blagblorg sees…

“HUMANS!” Blagblorg screeches. The humans scream in response.

“J-Jordan? Baby?” One of the humans says. The human has long, brown and gray hair, and wrinkles all over their face. There is wetness on the human’s face. Blagblorg looks around. Blagblorg sees another human with short black and gray hair, glasses, and a lot of wrinkles. There are a few humans with less wrinkles wearing white coats. One of the ones in white coats is holding a tube.

“Greetings! Blagblorg’s name is Blagblorg! Blagblorg? Bla…. Oh! Blagblorg forgot that Blagblorg’s name does not translate to any human language correctly. Silly Blagblorg!” Blagblorg raises a hand to Blagblorg’s forehead. The humans call this motion a ‘face palm.’ Blagblorg pauses. Blagblorg has…. human hands! “Is Blagblorg… human?! Blagblorg has human fingers! And hands! And feet and toes and a neck!” Blagblorg throws the blankets off of Blagblorg’s legs, and then feels Blagblorg’s neck.

“You’ve had a neck this entire time.”

The human with the short black and gray hair says.

“Jordan, are you okay? You’ve been in a coma for a year… one year today. We… we thought you were never going to wake up…” The human with long brown and grey hair cries into the shoulder of the other human. Blagblorg studied crying in Blagblorg’s human studies class. Blagblorg goes to the two humans and gives them a hug. That is what Blagblorg’s teacher said humans do when other humans are crying. The long hair human hugs Blagblorg back. The short hair human backs away and talks to another human in a white coat. Blagblorg does not hear what they are saying.

“Blagblorg is confused. Why is Blagblorg here, with humans? In a human body?” Blagblorg inquires.

“Oh, baby, your name is Jordan. Not… Blagblorg. Something must have happened to your brain… Do you remember who I am?” The human asks.

“No, Blagblorg has never met any humans before.”

“I’m your mother, my name is Deborah and I’m your mommy…” Deborah begins to cry again. “And you’re my baby girl Jordan…” The man with the short hair walks up. “And this is your daddy, his name is Ronald.” Deborah sniffs. “You two used to be so close…” Deborah hugs Ronald.

“Jordan!” Two adolescent humans walk into the room. One has long hair, the other has short. They are holding hands. The long haired one drops the hand of the short haired one. The long haired one starts to run towards Blagblorg, but Ronald stops the human.

“She is sick. Something is wrong. She doesn’t remember anyone or anything. The doctor is about to take her to get some testing done. You have a few minutes.” Ronald says in a stern voice. The adolescent humans nod and then slowly approach Blagblorg.

“I’m Violet, your best friend. And this is Ryan, your…” Violet trails off and looks at Ryan, clearly distressed.

“You know me. That’s all you need to know right now.” Ryan responds.

“This is all very confusing to Blagblorg.” Blagblorg says. “Blagblorg means, Blagblorg did study humans in class, it was Blagblorg’s favorite subject, but Blagblorg is having a hard time understanding everything in real life. Is this real life? Or is Blagblorg dreaming?” Blagblorg looks around. One of the white coats is the next to speak.

“It’s time to do some testing. We will be back in a few hours.” Another human in a white coat brings in a wheelchair. The white coats help Blagblorg into the chair, and then they take Blagblorg away.


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